So Much Sacred in the Month of June

I’m in a great mood this morning.  I don’t know exactly why.  Maybe it’s because my sweatshirt smells like sun screen.  Maybe it’s because of how precious my dog was as she tried to keep her eyes open when I took her out before work.  Maybe I’m delusional from only getting four hours of sleep?  Maybe it was the awesome girls training me last night who secretly tipped me, or the super sweet note the girl before me at the gym left.  Maybe it’s because my current responsibilities include wearing work out clothes and listening to Britney Spears Pandora. Maybe it’s because the Phillies beat the Yankees. Who knows?  But it’s nice to be happy about waking up in the morning.  Being happy is fantastic. IMG_5188 I love the month of June.  It’s officially summer.  Days are longer.  You wake up to sunshine.  When you walk out of a building at night time the breeze is warmer than the inside you just left.  It’s almost my birthday.  I love birthdays.  There are beer gardens galore.  People are out and about.  I can bring Darcy with me almost everywhere.  And I love being with Darcy.

FullSizeRender Even if something happens in the next hour and today goes horribly wrong, I’m feeling sentimental about this moment. I feel at peace with this moment. It’s a long lost feeling that we need to take a step back and recognize more often.

This is one of my favorite songs of all time.  I think it’s perfect for today.  Enjoy – I’ll be listening to it on repeat.

Tough Moments 

When your dog bolts across the street after a squirrel and you’re so upset and scared and mad that you might not ever let her outside again.  

Darcy- Mommy can’t look at you right now…

I don’t know how you real parents out there do it…  


Happy Birthday, Roommate!!

Good roommates are hard to come by.  My biggest nightmare is a dirty roommate who doesn’t drink and has anger issues.  Fortunately, I live with the opposite of that.   Here are a couple of things about my Roommate that you should know:

– When we met, I had had it with roommates.  I wanted to live alone or with a guy.  A mutual friend introduced us and told me she was the closest I would get to living with a guy.  And it’s true.  Especially now that I don’t have a job.  Roommate wakes up and goes to work every day and I sit around and sometimes cook, rarely but sometimes clean and wait for her to get home to tell me what the outside world is like.  It’s a great balance that I think I enjoy a lot more than she does.



– She’s super organized.  I don’t really believe in organization because I think it’s easier to find your clothes when they’re already on your floor.  Once, she sneaked (again – snuck, not a word) into my room and put together a shelf and organized my shoes.  When I load the dishwasher she waits until I leave the room and does it again – and never even complains.  It’s great because she would prefer I didn’t unload the dishwasher so she doesn’t have to re-do the Tupperware drawer.  This is the difference between our rooms when we pack:


– She loves to drink.  She’s not the type to come home at night and open a bottle of wine because she had a rough Tuesday.  But I am.  I’m the type to come home and open a bottle of wine no matter what kind of Tuesday it is.  But I never have to worry about drinking alone because she will ALWAYS drink with you.  We’ve hit the point after all of these years when I say “do you want a glass” and she laughs and rolls her eyes.  Which means yes.  On the slim chance that she says no, I pour it anyway.  We live by the firm belief of no wine left behind.

See those empty bottles... They were full before my Roommate got to them

See those empty bottles… They were full before my Roommate got to them

– She’s really creative.  Whenever I need to cut something in a straight line, she does it for me.

– She’s a great listener.  When you put a glass of wine in front of her and start venting – she’ll sit there for hours.  Between listening to me complain about my job or dating, she deserves an award.

There are some things wrong with my roommate that you should know too:

– Her clothes are better than mine.  She’s been fashion forward since she was a baby…


Just a demonstration of her fantastic fashion sense

Fantastic fashion sense

– She eats the most random meals so there is never food to steal

– She’s obsessed with reality television to the point that she’s winning her Bachelor Fantasy League (yes- that is a thing)

Always drinking...

Always drinking…

– She’s a natural athlete.  She runs faster than me.  Once I accidentally missed a mile of a 5K and beat her but other than that she would win in a race.


Yes, she hydrates after exercising with wine…

– Darcy likes her more than me.  She thinks Roommate is the cool-aunt and I’m the un-fun mom.  It brings out a jealous side of me that I’m not proud of.

Sometimes they get matching manis

Sometimes they get matching manis

What I’m trying to say is , it’s hard to find an organized-handicapped animal accepting-semi alcoholic who needs a place to live at the same time that you do.  I guess I just lucked out.  Happy Birthday Roommate!  I can’t wait to celebrate you being two years older than me for the next 25 days!


Cloudy with a Chance of Cabernet

It is gross out today.  Deep down, I always love a rainy day – but I can’t get away with describing the weather as “beautiful.”  I’m nowhere near as clever with as I am when I’m in my roof office with a glass of wine and the sun blazing down on me.  My brain works best when bronzing. So I struggled a little this afternoon with what to write about.


I finished training and started working on my own at my new job today.  It was very exciting and empowering to feel busy and responsible again.  And I had to be there super early.  I was in the studio by 5:18 AM.  So you can imagine that I was exhausted when I got home at 1:30 PM.  Darcy and I went for a quick walk, read the news, and took a nap.

When I woke up a couple of hours later, I was groggy and starving.  The weather had only gotten worse.  Which again was alright, every so often it’s nice to have a chilly rainy day.  As my plans were cancelled on account of no one wanting to leave their couch, I decided it was a night for one of my favorite meals… Pizza and wine.  I love making my own pizza, but the only ingredient I have in my fridge is mozzarella (your cheese drawer should always be fully stocked in order to ensure daily satisfaction) and food always tastes better when someone makes it for you and your kitchen remains in tact.

This should be the case across the tri-state area tonight

This should be the case across the tri-state area tonight

So I set out.  I distracted Darcy to the best of my ability (covered a lot of toys with a lot of peanut butter) and quietly sneaked downstairs (fun fact – ‘snuck’ is not really a word) and made my way outside.  Once I got there, I realized I didn’t have an umbrella, so I would have to make a run for it.  I jogged to the pizza place and got a couple of smiles and a head nod on the way there when I realized – these silly people who did remember their umbrellas just think I’m dedicated and going for a run – rain or shine.  My poor unassuming neighbors – having so much confidence in me. Little did they know I didn’t want to get wet and really just wanted my pizza faster.  I didn’t render the same approving looks as I jogged home with a pizza box.

Never start a meal with this much red without an anti-acid on hand

Never start a meal with this much red without an anti-acid on hand

Regardless – I was happy.  And technically I got some cardio in too! I got back to my apartment, was greeted by my very stressed out puppy, who had apparently realized I was missing, and took the next step towards dinner of letting my wine breathe.  It’s been a successful evening.  I’ve somehow written almost 500 words about my love of pizza and secret acceptance of rainy days, enjoyed some great wine, and even gave Darcy a little piece of pizza.  According to the internet it’s going to kill her but she seemed very pleased with the decision.

I hope everyone else’s rainy day was as cozy and comfortable as ours has become.

comf darc

What Happens in Napa Valley…

As previously mentioned, my best friend’s bachelorette party was held over the weekend in Napa Valley, California.  It was a quick, phenomenal and extremely educational trip filled with sunshine, fabulous wine and a great group of girls.


Rather than recap moment for moment, I thought I would outline everything that we learned in the 72 hours spent in wine country…


Going in, most of us were already wine lovers.  We tried whites, we tried reds, we tried rose’, we tried port.  There were some we loved and others that were sub-par.  We lived by the mentality “no taste left behind.”   After a little while you reach the point where it becomes more important to discuss how the wine makes you feel emotionally.  For example, my tasting partner was most concerned about finding an every day wine.  Not like something to take as a gift to a party, but “every day” in the literal sense.  She was looking for a white that was light and fruity in taste with a strong burn which paired well with cheez-its.  What the wine people don’t tell you is the importance of burn level.  If your regular weekday wine doesn’t burn then isn’t doing it’s job.

The most hilarious tasting buddies Napa has ever seen

The most hilarious tasting buddies Napa has ever seen

So much wine and so few ladies

So much wine and so few ladies

The aftermath of Robert Mondavi

The aftermath of Robert Mondavi

Mastering the Art of the Selfie Stick  

Selfie Master

Selfie Master

I love to talk about mastering the art of things.  But the selfie stick was no joke.  You have to position your phone just right, you had to make sure the stick was on, you had to make sure the bluetooth was properly connected and you had to make sure everyone was perfectly in place to be in the shot without seeing the stick.  We got one for my friend as a surprise at her shower and it was like our 11th guest of the weekend.  The worst part was, we weren’t the only group with a selfie stick. There were plenty of others.  While very convenient for group photos, it makes you question the future of humanity.

This only took a hundred or so tries

This only took a hundred or so tries

The Men

I was being very sneaky with my photography

Very sneaky photography

On the way to our hotel we were laughing that Napa Valley was definitely not the spot to travel if you’re expecting to run into bachelor parties and have wild nights where girls made out with guys on dance floors or in the street or danced the night away in a night club.  And how wrong we were… We met a gorgeous half Mexican half Cuban Marine turned Wine Connoisseur at one of the wineries.  Dreamiest combination alive?  I think so.

I got to the point right away by asking, and I quote, if he lived with his “girlfriend or wife or boyfriend or husband or… dog?”  You can use your imagination for my other vetting questions after drinking wine for 6 hours.  Before I gave him my phone number I gave him my blog URL.  Because that seemed like the right thing to do.

I was lucky that despite my grilling on his sexual orientation, political views and sports teams, he called me to hang out the next night.  And believe it or not – there are night clubs in Napa Valley.  Well – night club.  Called Napkins.  And it was the first time my college side saw the light in a long time.  And after a full day of wine tasting turned beers turned shots turned mixed drinks, we danced the night away.



 All Girls Dress the Same

There were 10 of us and over the course of the weekend almost everyone had a matching outfit incident.  Whether it was that we were all wearing dresses, all wearing pants, or all wearing the exact same thing, it proves that our fashion sense was in no way original.  The funny part being, none of it was planned.  A stranger asked if it was our bachelorette uniform at one point.



Survival Skills

As mentioned, we struggled significantly on the first night to open a bottle of wine with a terrible corkscrew.  While I am proud that my life-long streak of never letting a bottle go unopened continues, I learned a valuable skill if you’re ever stranded on a deserted island with nothing but a case of wine and a glass: Put the top of the bottle in a sneaker and bang the back of it.  Eventually the cork will come out.  I don’t remember why, but it sounded very scientific.  Hopefully you will also have sneakers on said deserted island.

How to kill a bird without any stones

Again, this was mentioned in my first post, but it was a story that lasted throughout the week.  When driving in Napa, beware of low-flying birds.  They’re probably drunk and going to hit you.

Souvenirs = Bad Ideasouv

When you live on the East Coast it’s hard to know for sure when you will be back to Napa, so you want to make the most memories that you can. That is not always an easy task when you drink wine all day every day.  So you make purchases to leave bread crumbs to your memories. My mistake was buying wine.  Once I had the bottle we had to drink it or I had to check my bag to take it home.  Since we never got around to drinking it (or just never had a moment where we stopped drinking other wine) I had to pay $25 to check my bag to bring home my $15 bottle of wine.  Wine that I’m almost positive is sold in the state of Pennsylvania.  Everyone else was handing off souvenirs to see which bags they could fit in.  Beach towels, beach bags, wine glasses, sun glasses, coasters, champagne flutes.  Napa made a killing on us.

It was an amazing trip.  The MOH planned the entire weekend perfectly and everyone had a great time.  I hope you can take these experiences and learnings and apply them to your next all-girls-binge-drinking-dreamy-Latin-man-dancing-selfie-stick-using adventure.


Napa Valley Extravaganza: Part 1

So far so good. The first day of this bachelorette wine adventure has gone with only a few glitches. After de-boarding the ultimate boring plane ride I had the opportunity to eat a fantastic bagel sandwich, nap and shower- so I was like a new woman once our journey to wine country began.

The ride wasn’t bad with the exception of a few casualties. The first of which was a black bird. He was flying along with his group of other black birds, innocent and unsuspecting, when he was whacked in the right side by a 2004 Honda Civic. It was a pretty traumatizing experience. My friend the bachelorette, who will be referred to from here on out as “Wonder Bread,” never saw it coming. Any other bird would have flown above the car, but this one flew into it. There were bird brains on the windshield. Talk about natural selection at work. 


sorry little buddy…


Her sister in the backseat witnessed the aftermath as the bird’s body ricocheted into the grassy vineyard besides us. We screamed a lot. But I guess Napa is a good place for things to end. Amongst the grapes…

Secondly, Wonder Bread forgot her wallet. Note to all readers- credit cards, cash and your license are vital pieces of your bachelorette weekend puzzle. Try your hardest to remember them when embarking on a weekend of binge drinking freedom. It wouldn’t hurt to have your insurance card too considering the amount of wine expected to be consumed. 


We had a lovely dinner and checked into our fantastic and spacious hotel. The concierge assured us there would be a bottle of wine in the room and was good enough to remedy the situation when we called immediately to say we had checked every nook and crevice but it was not here. Problem number three was the cork screw provided. It took four girls to figure out how to open one bottle of wine with this impossible cork screw. But don’t worry- we got there and everything was resolved in the end.


Tomorrow morning 6 more girls arrive and the fun continues… Stay tuned! 

Things are Tight Right Now

What comes along with the territory of not having a job is not having an income.  And that is fine for right now – but as a result I need to make my savings account last.  So I’m trying to keep the mentality that money is tight and I shouldn’t go out as much, I shouldn’t buy clothes right now and Darcy is going to have to cut back on her days at the race track.  But I’m not worried financially.  Things are tight in other places which has me a little more concerned.

When I first left my job I spent a lot of time being super lazy.  Then, to cheer myself up, I went on a binge eating and drinking tour of the deep south.  I spent two full weeks on the following strict diet:

Food: IMG_3899






Shrimp n’ Grits

Cheese (with all accouterments) IMG_3265



Ice Cream


Fish tacos


Strawberry Daiquiris (with an extra shot of rum) IMG_3038

Mimosas (normally a bottomless deal was involved)




Green Tea

Purple DrAnk (a slushy mix of grape juice, everclear and ice)

Corona, Corona, Corona




Upon return home I made the silly decision to step on my scale and I saw that my weight had increased by 6 pounds.  So I thought – well that sucks.  But figured it will drop quickly, I’ll just have to cut back on my favorite food groups of cheese and wine and add in spinach or peppers or something in the mean time.

Last night was when I realized how ‘tight’ all things really were.  This dress was always rather form fitting, but last night we hit our breaking point… literally.



So yea… diet starts now.  Retirement at it’s finest, ladies and gentlemen.


Living the Dream

I am always trying to identify “The Dream.”  When asked how things are going, I often answer with “Oh you know, living the Dream.”  But am I?  Financial gurus on Wall Street who make seven figures probably give the same answer.  And we’re a little different.  I guess the Dream varies from person to person.  So it’s just a matter of figuring out what it is that you consider your Dream.

Last night, I was watching Helen Hunt play Beer Pong with Jimmy Fallon.  I’m going to add that to my Dream category.   A very good friend of mine sent this shirt to me.  I have more, but substitute (read: add) “blogging” for “napping” and that is one heck of a Dream.

IMG_2161 (2)

Everyone is a Witness

I am super tired this morning because I stayed up way too late watching Baltimore rioting coverage and Scandal on Netflix.  Another beauty of Netflix – you can watch it on your laptop/iPad/iPhone – so you can watch the news on the television at the same time.  Geez Louise…

Anyway – as a result there’s a curfew in Baltimore and a ban on Scandal in my house for today.  We’re calling it ‘No Netflix Tuesday.’

There is something that comes with the territory of binge-watching shows.  You feel like you’re a star player.  You’re so invested that you forget it isn’t your life.  It isn’t real.  The impact is different depending on the genre of show and how you’re feeling that day.  When I binge-watch Friends, I get discouraged when I make a joke later and there isn’t generated laughter that fills the room.  I want my friends to know what I’m thinking with a look.  And I want to be able to storm into the apartment across the hall and tell them to quiet the chick and the duck!  But a lot of times my Roommate just thinks I’m crazy and we do not have enough of a relationship with our crazy French neighbors that I could just go into their apartment – nor would I want to.  Regardless – I still like to pretend that I wake up in the morning with the life of Rachel Green.  We are a lot alike; she didn’t have a job at one point – and I’m pretty positive that if it had been 20 years later she would have spent her time writing a blog.  And we pretty much look exactly the same – especially when complaining.


All of the Blue Bloods and Law and Order: SVU episodes that I’ve watched while drinking wine and laying on my couch have brought me to the conclusion that I would be a great detective.  I think I’d be a solid “good cop” and always be able to relate to my victims but have the knack of being ruthless and scrappy with my suspects.

There we are.  Just three detectives.  Solving crime and saving lives.

There we are. Just three detectives. Solving crime and saving lives.

Anytime I binge-watch detective shows everyone around me becomes a witness.  Like the construction worker who I passed when walking to my car one day.  If I went missing – Benson and Stabler are definitely going to come across him and if they don’t have a picture of me they’ll show him a picture of Jennifer Aniston (because of the resemblance) and he’ll say “Yea I saw her – it was two days and six hours ago – she was walkin’ her dog.  Seemed scared.  She had a look on her face – something musta’ spooked her!” And he’ll tell them this all while he’s digging up the road and going about his day job.

Once, a couple of years ago, I was alone at my parents house and spent a full Sunday watching 8 hours of Law and Order: SVU.  I was sort of uncomfortable when I went to bed but didn’t think much of it.  All of the sudden, at 2:00 AM, my car alarm started going off.  And I panicked!  I was definitely about to become the next victim – the next news story that the show loosely depicts in a new episode.  I locked myself in my closet and called the police.  I was practically in tears and I told them that my car alarm went off and I was scared and I might need a detective and someone was going to break in and you can find me in the back of my closet.

Imagine being on the other end of that call.  I remember them asking me if I was home alone and I said yes so they said they would send someone over.  But when I opened the door the (SUPER cute) cop looked at me like I was crazy.  They definitely thought I was a child.  They probably had the forms ready to arrest my parents for leaving their little girl home alone and had a car seat in the back ready to take me to foster care.  Most people would go downstairs, click their car keys, turn off the alarm and go back to sleep.  But I had a mental breakdown and called the police all because I had watched too much SVU that day.  Super cute cop told me I should probably just put my car in the garage and go back to sleep.

Live and learn.

Currently, I’m dealing with living in Scandal. I feel like the eerie background music should be following me around.  Without it – things seem eerily silent… I’ve felt irrationally stressed out that the key players keep so many things from each other.  If they would just communicate their thoughts and feelings better half of their victims would be alive right now!  I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth last night and was waiting for a trained assassin to be hiding in my shower – waiting to kill me – or waiting to protect me.  It’s so hard to trust the people in your shower anymore.

I think this probably proves why it’s important to impose No Netflix Tuesday.  I already feel more productive and I think it’s just because I don’t think Olivia Pope is following me around.

Good luck binge watchers – may all of your days be as productive as those detectives who solve the most complex crimes in one hour.