Happy Memorial Day, Y’all

SHBoat (1)

Memorial Day weekend for me is filled with family members, cases upon cases of Corona, reading, country music and massive amounts of College Boys.  My parents rent a house down the shore and it’s over taken by my youngest brother’s college friends, high school friends, baseball friends, illegal friends, underaged friends, hungry friends, alcoholic friends, cute friends, vagabond friends, etc…


My mother spends the majority of her vacation cooking for a revolving door of young men, half of whom are introduced to her as they enter the kitchen.  “Mom – you know (insert name here) from (insert the time in my brother’s life when he was last relevant.)  Can he have breakfast too?”

My father has assumed the vital role of beer supplier.  He brings down a car full of cases when they arrive and still spends each morning traveling to the nearest beer distributor to replenish the depleted supply.  Keeping a refrigerator stocked with beer in a house full of boys is like trying to keep your gas tank full during a road trip.  Literally impossible.

My parents do a decent job of staying out of the boy’s line of fire.  The master bedroom is usually upstairs along with the kitchen and the downstairs is transformed into a smelly, empty beer can filled, tank top infested frat house.  You’ll find plenty of empty Wawa bags, askew towels, sand, Bose speakers, etc.  What you won’t find is someone’s cell phone, someone else’s license, someone’s wallet, or someone’s keys – because every one of them has lost at least one item that is imperative to their trip.

If you make the silly decision to venture down, you’ll hear rumblings of stories that start with “Dude I was so blacked out last night” or “Uh, no, she is not good looking” or “Did I get tan today?” When they come upstairs it’s more like “Is there any food?”  or “Yo Dad, can I get the (insert something valuable that was lost here – keys, money, phone charger.)”

One thing is for sure – these kids are fun.  They are a lot of fun.  And they don’t judge me for always having a beer in my hand.  I may be retired but that doesn’t mean I can’t use “I’m on vacation” as a reasonable excuse to drink all day on the beach. My 21 year old brother lost his license almost immediately upon the arrival of Memorial Day weekend.  As a result, the college boys came out to the bar with my other brother and friend and me last night since we figured that by banding together we could sweet talk him into the bar.  Power in numbers.  Numbers of alcoholic beverages that had boosted our confidence.  But it worked.  And once inside it was great.  The College Boys knew everyone who walked by. The bar tender was someone’s little league basketball coach.  The shady guy at the end of the bar was someone’s sister’s high school boyfriend, the girl on the patio was someone’s prom date. The more you know the more drinks that are handed to you.  Well done, College Boys.

We made it in!

We made it in!

Maybe I give them a hard time for being lazy and smelly because I’m jealous.  I don’t have a revolving door of friends taking over my parents vacation home over the course of the weekend.  But that’s okay.  It’s great to watch and makes you feel so clean and pulled together.  Thank you College Boys – you sure know how to make a day off to salute our military awfully entertaining.

Addiction at its Finest

I’ll be the first to tell you, I’m often late to the game.  I didn’t get an iPhone until it was a 4S.  It took me a while to wrap my head around the skinny jeans idea.  I’m still not fully sold on kale.  You know – it just takes me a little while to get into the most current fad.

This weekend… I discovered Netflix.

And for so long – I have been blind.

You always see meme’s about being in a relationship with your Netflix account or binge watching vs binge eating… And I always thought I was above it.  I don’t watch a lot of television shows and when I binge watch something it’s usually Friends on syndication when I feel lonely and want to pretend I’m their seventh member.  But in the last 48 hours – all of this has changed.

Netflix is like God’s gift to the super bored/hungover/dumped/tired/retired citizens of the world. You find whatever it is you want to watch – click play – and it goes on forever.

OH MY GOODNESS – I literally hit play to take a picture for this post and have watched ten minutes.  I haven’t even taken my coat off from walking Darcy and I want to say that’s for the good of the blog but I think it’s subconsciously for Season 2: Episode 10 of Scandal.

Anyway – you decide what you want to watch, sweet talk your friend into giving you her brother’s password while he’s away in Iowa at what I can only assume is a corn-shucking event, log-in and select your program. Then, it starts.  Season 1: Episode 1.  And you think – eh, this should be alright.  So you watch Episode 1.  And it’s good and you’re wondering what happens next.  And that is when Netflix strikes.  That’s when this fantastic and addicting service sinks it’s talons into your eyes and holds you so hard you can never get away.  Immediately Episode 2 starts.  You don’t have to go back to the home screen or hit play – it waits 15 seconds, and just starts.  Otherwise- if you can’t wait that long, which has been the case for me a number of times in the last, now 52 hours – you can hit the big red play button that appears in the middle of the episode preview and skip the credits from the one you just watched.  They also make it impossible to find a pause or stop button.

#nonono  #nottoday

#nonono #nottoday

The next step is to thank the Lord you do not have a job because it would have been a darn shame when you had to use PTO days to stay in your house and catch up to the current Season 4.

Kudos Netflix – you got me.  Just like you got the rest of them.  You’re like a highly trained assassin who sneaks in and quietly squeezes the life out of any productivity I could have had today… or this weekend.  I feel like a drug addict.  To think, 52 hours ago, I was clean.

So enthralled

So enthralled