When your dog bolts across the street after a squirrel and you’re so upset and scared and mad that you might not ever let her outside again.
I don’t know how you real parents out there do it…
I’ve always had many fears. Like – a ton. I’ve learned to deal with a lot of it, mainly because that’s the only way I’ll get through the day, but I’m scared of a lot of things.
Most of the things that I have nightmares about are out of my control. Death. Taxes. Weather. Crappy bosses. We’ve all been there. I get nervous in turbulence on airplanes and I keep mace and my taser in my purse if I ever have to walk alone somewhere. I also never walk anywhere alone and rarely fly sober.
Normally I can avoid most of these fears or prepare to face them. But today, at my new, fabulous job, I was caught off guard and never saw it coming.
One of my biggest irrational fears is of tape measures.
When I was in the first grade I knew this girl who had a little tape measure. Her brother tried to take it from her and she slit open his hand when she retracted the tape. He had to get all these stitches. I’ll never forget it. The blood squirted everywhere. His screams. Every time I see them I wait for them to just snap and slit my whole body open. They’re absolutely terrifying.
I also remember this vividly because her mom asked me not to tell anyone what happened to her brother’s hand. So I didn’t. But then when I accidentally let her turtle escape she told everyone. Some friend.
This new job that I love allows me to wear work out clothes, spend time with positive people and walk around barefoot all day. It’s amazing. But it also means that now and then I might have to use a tape measure. Stay tuned, I may have to be sedated before my future shifts!