Happy Birthday, Roommate!!

Good roommates are hard to come by.  My biggest nightmare is a dirty roommate who doesn’t drink and has anger issues.  Fortunately, I live with the opposite of that.   Here are a couple of things about my Roommate that you should know:

– When we met, I had had it with roommates.  I wanted to live alone or with a guy.  A mutual friend introduced us and told me she was the closest I would get to living with a guy.  And it’s true.  Especially now that I don’t have a job.  Roommate wakes up and goes to work every day and I sit around and sometimes cook, rarely but sometimes clean and wait for her to get home to tell me what the outside world is like.  It’s a great balance that I think I enjoy a lot more than she does.

Hooray!!

Hooray!!

– She’s super organized.  I don’t really believe in organization because I think it’s easier to find your clothes when they’re already on your floor.  Once, she sneaked (again – snuck, not a word) into my room and put together a shelf and organized my shoes.  When I load the dishwasher she waits until I leave the room and does it again – and never even complains.  It’s great because she would prefer I didn’t unload the dishwasher so she doesn’t have to re-do the Tupperware drawer.  This is the difference between our rooms when we pack:

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– She loves to drink.  She’s not the type to come home at night and open a bottle of wine because she had a rough Tuesday.  But I am.  I’m the type to come home and open a bottle of wine no matter what kind of Tuesday it is.  But I never have to worry about drinking alone because she will ALWAYS drink with you.  We’ve hit the point after all of these years when I say “do you want a glass” and she laughs and rolls her eyes.  Which means yes.  On the slim chance that she says no, I pour it anyway.  We live by the firm belief of no wine left behind.

See those empty bottles... They were full before my Roommate got to them

See those empty bottles… They were full before my Roommate got to them

– She’s really creative.  Whenever I need to cut something in a straight line, she does it for me.

– She’s a great listener.  When you put a glass of wine in front of her and start venting – she’ll sit there for hours.  Between listening to me complain about my job or dating, she deserves an award.


There are some things wrong with my roommate that you should know too:

– Her clothes are better than mine.  She’s been fashion forward since she was a baby…

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Just a demonstration of her fantastic fashion sense

Fantastic fashion sense

– She eats the most random meals so there is never food to steal

– She’s obsessed with reality television to the point that she’s winning her Bachelor Fantasy League (yes- that is a thing)

Always drinking...

Always drinking…

– She’s a natural athlete.  She runs faster than me.  Once I accidentally missed a mile of a 5K and beat her but other than that she would win in a race.

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Yes, she hydrates after exercising with wine…

– Darcy likes her more than me.  She thinks Roommate is the cool-aunt and I’m the un-fun mom.  It brings out a jealous side of me that I’m not proud of.

Sometimes they get matching manis

Sometimes they get matching manis

What I’m trying to say is , it’s hard to find an organized-handicapped animal accepting-semi alcoholic who needs a place to live at the same time that you do.  I guess I just lucked out.  Happy Birthday Roommate!  I can’t wait to celebrate you being two years older than me for the next 25 days!

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What Happens in Napa Valley…

As previously mentioned, my best friend’s bachelorette party was held over the weekend in Napa Valley, California.  It was a quick, phenomenal and extremely educational trip filled with sunshine, fabulous wine and a great group of girls.

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Rather than recap moment for moment, I thought I would outline everything that we learned in the 72 hours spent in wine country…

Wine

Going in, most of us were already wine lovers.  We tried whites, we tried reds, we tried rose’, we tried port.  There were some we loved and others that were sub-par.  We lived by the mentality “no taste left behind.”   After a little while you reach the point where it becomes more important to discuss how the wine makes you feel emotionally.  For example, my tasting partner was most concerned about finding an every day wine.  Not like something to take as a gift to a party, but “every day” in the literal sense.  She was looking for a white that was light and fruity in taste with a strong burn which paired well with cheez-its.  What the wine people don’t tell you is the importance of burn level.  If your regular weekday wine doesn’t burn then isn’t doing it’s job.

The most hilarious tasting buddies Napa has ever seen

The most hilarious tasting buddies Napa has ever seen

So much wine and so few ladies

So much wine and so few ladies

The aftermath of Robert Mondavi

The aftermath of Robert Mondavi


Mastering the Art of the Selfie Stick  

Selfie Master

Selfie Master

I love to talk about mastering the art of things.  But the selfie stick was no joke.  You have to position your phone just right, you had to make sure the stick was on, you had to make sure the bluetooth was properly connected and you had to make sure everyone was perfectly in place to be in the shot without seeing the stick.  We got one for my friend as a surprise at her shower and it was like our 11th guest of the weekend.  The worst part was, we weren’t the only group with a selfie stick. There were plenty of others.  While very convenient for group photos, it makes you question the future of humanity.

This only took a hundred or so tries

This only took a hundred or so tries


The Men

I was being very sneaky with my photography

Very sneaky photography

On the way to our hotel we were laughing that Napa Valley was definitely not the spot to travel if you’re expecting to run into bachelor parties and have wild nights where girls made out with guys on dance floors or in the street or danced the night away in a night club.  And how wrong we were… We met a gorgeous half Mexican half Cuban Marine turned Wine Connoisseur at one of the wineries.  Dreamiest combination alive?  I think so.

I got to the point right away by asking, and I quote, if he lived with his “girlfriend or wife or boyfriend or husband or… dog?”  You can use your imagination for my other vetting questions after drinking wine for 6 hours.  Before I gave him my phone number I gave him my blog URL.  Because that seemed like the right thing to do.

I was lucky that despite my grilling on his sexual orientation, political views and sports teams, he called me to hang out the next night.  And believe it or not – there are night clubs in Napa Valley.  Well – night club.  Called Napkins.  And it was the first time my college side saw the light in a long time.  And after a full day of wine tasting turned beers turned shots turned mixed drinks, we danced the night away.

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 All Girls Dress the Same

There were 10 of us and over the course of the weekend almost everyone had a matching outfit incident.  Whether it was that we were all wearing dresses, all wearing pants, or all wearing the exact same thing, it proves that our fashion sense was in no way original.  The funny part being, none of it was planned.  A stranger asked if it was our bachelorette uniform at one point.

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Survival Skills

As mentioned, we struggled significantly on the first night to open a bottle of wine with a terrible corkscrew.  While I am proud that my life-long streak of never letting a bottle go unopened continues, I learned a valuable skill if you’re ever stranded on a deserted island with nothing but a case of wine and a glass: Put the top of the bottle in a sneaker and bang the back of it.  Eventually the cork will come out.  I don’t remember why, but it sounded very scientific.  Hopefully you will also have sneakers on said deserted island.


How to kill a bird without any stones

Again, this was mentioned in my first post, but it was a story that lasted throughout the week.  When driving in Napa, beware of low-flying birds.  They’re probably drunk and going to hit you.


Souvenirs = Bad Ideasouv

When you live on the East Coast it’s hard to know for sure when you will be back to Napa, so you want to make the most memories that you can. That is not always an easy task when you drink wine all day every day.  So you make purchases to leave bread crumbs to your memories. My mistake was buying wine.  Once I had the bottle we had to drink it or I had to check my bag to take it home.  Since we never got around to drinking it (or just never had a moment where we stopped drinking other wine) I had to pay $25 to check my bag to bring home my $15 bottle of wine.  Wine that I’m almost positive is sold in the state of Pennsylvania.  Everyone else was handing off souvenirs to see which bags they could fit in.  Beach towels, beach bags, wine glasses, sun glasses, coasters, champagne flutes.  Napa made a killing on us.


It was an amazing trip.  The MOH planned the entire weekend perfectly and everyone had a great time.  I hope you can take these experiences and learnings and apply them to your next all-girls-binge-drinking-dreamy-Latin-man-dancing-selfie-stick-using adventure.

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