Magic, Madness, Heaven, Sin… An Ode to Taylor Swift

I’ve been procrastinating this blog post because it needs to be perfect.  If I’m going to write about the greatest country turned pop star of my generation, I need to get it right.  Taylor Swift is fantastic.  There may be haters, but I’m here to change your mind.  Let’s consider the reasons why:

1. She has the perfect answer for every state of mind. Literally everything.  Going through a breakup? Taylor will sing you to acceptance.  In an awful relationship?

Tay’s been there.  Lovin’ him was red – believe me, I know.  Do you love your friends?  Do they make you feel 22?  Are there nasty people that you have to encounter every day?  Let me tell you something – don’t you worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine.  And all they’ll ever be is mean.

I listened to Shake It Off on repeat during commutes during my last month of work. Tay (and nightly bottles of wine) can get you through anything!

2. She cares about people: She’s like the queen of anti-bullying.  She’s mastered the art of staying grounded amongst fame and fortune.  She donates money to those who need it most.  She regularly visits sick kids.  She reaches out to bullied teens.  She understands who got her to where she is and believes in giving back.  Two years ago there was a huge thunderstorm during her show in Philadelphia.  I was one of the 50,000 sitting on the concourse waiting for the rain to pass.  She still performed and afterwards, although it was midnight, followed through with her visit to the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia.  It didn’t matter if she was tired – sick kids were more important.

  3. Every song she’s ever written ever: There isn’t a bad one. She’s catchy.  She’s funny.  She’s relatable. She’s clean (literally and figuratively.)  Everything is appropriate – sometimes you wish she went into a little more detail but I guess we will just have to use our imagination about her current escapades with the dreamy Calvin Harris.

4. She’s entertaining: Whether mocking Harry Styles or picking on John Mayer or just dressing like a fantastic fashionista and putting on an incredible show – Taylor Swift is not a performance to miss.  There is dancing.  There are pyrotechnics.  There are special guests.  There are teenyboppers in adult bodies… It’s worth the price to go see her.  Thunderstorm or shine.

5. She loves her family. Tay is like obsessed with her mom and still does Easter Egg hunts with her brother. Further proving we would be best friends.

6. She’s from Pennsylvania. Really great people are from Pennsylvania.

I keep trying to re-write this so I don’t sound like the creepiest fan girl on the face of the earth, but I don’t even care.  I think she is wonderful and cannot wait to hang out with her tomorrow night.  Maybe she doesn’t know we’re going to be hanging out and maybe 49,999 other people will be joining us, but it’s going to be fantastic just the same. 

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How You Doin’? 

Pick up lines. We all have them. They’re primarily associated with men, but women have pick up lines too. My go-to conversation starter is ‘I can name every baseball team by division.’ (Insert seductive wink face here) 

  

It never works. 10 out of 10 times it turns into a challenge. And as I begin to do it the guy tells me they know who I’m missing the whole time. The worst is when I have 29/30 teams listed and let them tell me who I am forgetting. “THATS THE EASIEST ONE!” They always say. Right- because the Minnesota Twins have been super relevant in our lifetimes… 

  
My pick up line has adjusted a bit in the last two months. Now I usually start off with “Hey” (jump right to seductive wink face) “Go for Introductions; mention that we have something in common; add shameless plug about reading my blog.”  I assume that’s a solid reason for current single-ness. As my roommate so delicately says [my blog] “takes away a lot of the mystery in getting to know you.” And my mom always says “How are you going to explain that if a potential suitor reads it?!” Oh well.

  
Once, my roommate and I pretended to be each other when talking to two potential suitors in a bar. I introduced myself with her name, added that I was from Ohio and told him where she/I went to college. I found it hilarious. She decided to step in and do the same thing with his friend. She introduced herself with my name, said I was from New Orleans (well that’s not true) and then stared blankly when he asked where she went to college. She guessed and looked at me questionably. She was wrong. It didn’t work. People run away when you’re confused about your identity these days because you probably stole it. She’s since said she has started listening.

  
I am a sucker for a good pick up line. I’m tired of all the “you have beautiful eyes” nonsense. I know I do- all of your friends have told me. Be original. Catch me off guard with a solid “Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?” The cheesier the better. I’m a big fan of “I’m glad I brought my library card- cause I’m checking you out!” Although I guess that’s slightly outdated. Today it would be more like “I’m glad I have my Apple ID password with me because I’m purchasing you for $.99!” 

 
Keep up the good work out there ladies and gentlemen. And remember- the cheesier and more PG the pick up line, the faster we’ll get talking and the faster I’ll give you my web address and maybe even phone number.

  

Quick Bouts of Wisdom

I don’t like getting deep and emotional, thanks to my Irish Catholic upbringing. But I do love quick wise quotes.  They’ve honestly never really resonated with me before I left my job and my future, which was once a perfectly manicured path turned into an unpaved abyss.  I came across this today and thought well that does apply, but there’s good news and there’s bad news:

IMG_1348

The good news is I’ve achieved two out of the three.  It’s exciting to think that in two months of retirement I’ve discovered a new work out routine that I enjoy, and I relay creativity by way of having a blog.  These are two things I never would have even thought of when I was crumbling in a cubical.  It’s hard to find time to be creative or funny when you’re feeling awful or doing something you don’t like all day long.

Now that’s not to say you can’t have these things if you have a job.  I just found that, if you’re doing something where you are constantly miserable, it can be difficult to find a balance.  I never wanted to work out – let alone search for something I might enjoy when I was commuting to get to my bed every night.  And I wouldn’t have started a blog because it is rather time consuming and I had nothing positive to say.

The bad news is in regards to the hobby that makes you money.  Working out and writing a hilarious blog that you can’t tear your eyes away from doesn’t necessarily pay the bills.  But I guess that is just the next step.  Focusing on careers that will make me so happy.  And so rich.  Like- swim in my pool full of cash for extra cardio before bed at night.

It’s all a process.  I’m just excited that I’m getting there.

Crazy Love

There are two types of couples who get engaged.  There are the types that you sort of hope won’t work out – and then when they do, you grin and bear it and go along with the motions and wait until things start to fall apart and you’re called in to be the shoulder to cry on.  And then there are the types who make you wonder why they had to live their first twenty-something years of life apart from each other.

I know both types of couples but am fortunate that the majority of my close friends fall into the second category.  One great couple that I know got engaged in Paris at midnight on New Years Eve last/this year.  One of my girlfriends was taken by complete surprise on her childhood-dream wedding date when her now fiancé popped the question.  Another got married in November, 2014 and is having their first baby in October, 2015.  My girlfriend who used to send me “do you think this will ever work” emales (as we called them) about a guy she had a crush on is marrying him next month. Love stories are a beautiful thing.

I mention this now because of a particular couple that I am friends with.  We’ll call her “Bedazzled” and we’ll call him “Abs.”  They met because he was the cute ab instructor at her gym and she wanted to get his attention.  She did a great job; they started dating, everyone loved them together, they became roommates and always talked about the future.  The future has always been inevitable with them, but a lot of us couldn’t help but wonder… after all these years… where was the ring?

Until last night.

You might need sunglasses to read the rest of this post

You might need sunglasses to read the rest of this 

Abs surprised Bedazzled with a necklace, a love note, a gold-dipped rose, and a photo album of their lives together.  He added captions and memories and in the end the book held a photo of her dream ring.

“You know it’s funny,” Abs told me, “I worked so hard on that book, and after I gave her the ring, it was like it didn’t even exist.”

Bedazzled said, “I just kept looking at him and saying ‘Is this for real?!  Is that mine?!'”

They were just so happy – at lunch today they didn’t stop smiling.  And the ring is just so fabulous.  It’s exactly what she wanted and he waited until that was what he could give her.  Good things come to those who wait.  Great things in this case. Call it your average love story – but like many of the couples mentioned before, it’s more than mediocre when two people get to affirm that they’ve been spending their years waiting to be with each other.

My favorite part was when I asked if he was nervous before proposing and he said “Not really – she’s been saying yes for the last three years.”

If this is a preview of the rest of their lives, I can’t wait to see how it continues.

Congratulations to all of my friends who have found that person with whom to share such Crazy Love.

There is no lighting where it doesn't sparkle

There is no lighting where it doesn’t sparkle

It even looked nice on Abs' finger

It even looked nice on him!