Memorial Day weekend for me is filled with family members, cases upon cases of Corona, reading, country music and massive amounts of College Boys. My parents rent a house down the shore and it’s over taken by my youngest brother’s college friends, high school friends, baseball friends, illegal friends, underaged friends, hungry friends, alcoholic friends, cute friends, vagabond friends, etc…
My mother spends the majority of her vacation cooking for a revolving door of young men, half of whom are introduced to her as they enter the kitchen. “Mom – you know (insert name here) from (insert the time in my brother’s life when he was last relevant.) Can he have breakfast too?”
My father has assumed the vital role of beer supplier. He brings down a car full of cases when they arrive and still spends each morning traveling to the nearest beer distributor to replenish the depleted supply. Keeping a refrigerator stocked with beer in a house full of boys is like trying to keep your gas tank full during a road trip. Literally impossible.
My parents do a decent job of staying out of the boy’s line of fire. The master bedroom is usually upstairs along with the kitchen and the downstairs is transformed into a smelly, empty beer can filled, tank top infested frat house. You’ll find plenty of empty Wawa bags, askew towels, sand, Bose speakers, etc. What you won’t find is someone’s cell phone, someone else’s license, someone’s wallet, or someone’s keys – because every one of them has lost at least one item that is imperative to their trip.
If you make the silly decision to venture down, you’ll hear rumblings of stories that start with “Dude I was so blacked out last night” or “Uh, no, she is not good looking” or “Did I get tan today?” When they come upstairs it’s more like “Is there any food?” or “Yo Dad, can I get the (insert something valuable that was lost here – keys, money, phone charger.)”
One thing is for sure – these kids are fun. They are a lot of fun. And they don’t judge me for always having a beer in my hand. I may be retired but that doesn’t mean I can’t use “I’m on vacation” as a reasonable excuse to drink all day on the beach. My 21 year old brother lost his license almost immediately upon the arrival of Memorial Day weekend. As a result, the college boys came out to the bar with my other brother and friend and me last night since we figured that by banding together we could sweet talk him into the bar. Power in numbers. Numbers of alcoholic beverages that had boosted our confidence. But it worked. And once inside it was great. The College Boys knew everyone who walked by. The bar tender was someone’s little league basketball coach. The shady guy at the end of the bar was someone’s sister’s high school boyfriend, the girl on the patio was someone’s prom date. The more you know the more drinks that are handed to you. Well done, College Boys.
Maybe I give them a hard time for being lazy and smelly because I’m jealous. I don’t have a revolving door of friends taking over my parents vacation home over the course of the weekend. But that’s okay. It’s great to watch and makes you feel so clean and pulled together. Thank you College Boys – you sure know how to make a day off to salute our military awfully entertaining.