What Happens in Napa Valley…

As previously mentioned, my best friend’s bachelorette party was held over the weekend in Napa Valley, California.  It was a quick, phenomenal and extremely educational trip filled with sunshine, fabulous wine and a great group of girls.


Rather than recap moment for moment, I thought I would outline everything that we learned in the 72 hours spent in wine country…


Going in, most of us were already wine lovers.  We tried whites, we tried reds, we tried rose’, we tried port.  There were some we loved and others that were sub-par.  We lived by the mentality “no taste left behind.”   After a little while you reach the point where it becomes more important to discuss how the wine makes you feel emotionally.  For example, my tasting partner was most concerned about finding an every day wine.  Not like something to take as a gift to a party, but “every day” in the literal sense.  She was looking for a white that was light and fruity in taste with a strong burn which paired well with cheez-its.  What the wine people don’t tell you is the importance of burn level.  If your regular weekday wine doesn’t burn then isn’t doing it’s job.

The most hilarious tasting buddies Napa has ever seen

The most hilarious tasting buddies Napa has ever seen

So much wine and so few ladies

So much wine and so few ladies

The aftermath of Robert Mondavi

The aftermath of Robert Mondavi

Mastering the Art of the Selfie Stick  

Selfie Master

Selfie Master

I love to talk about mastering the art of things.  But the selfie stick was no joke.  You have to position your phone just right, you had to make sure the stick was on, you had to make sure the bluetooth was properly connected and you had to make sure everyone was perfectly in place to be in the shot without seeing the stick.  We got one for my friend as a surprise at her shower and it was like our 11th guest of the weekend.  The worst part was, we weren’t the only group with a selfie stick. There were plenty of others.  While very convenient for group photos, it makes you question the future of humanity.

This only took a hundred or so tries

This only took a hundred or so tries

The Men

I was being very sneaky with my photography

Very sneaky photography

On the way to our hotel we were laughing that Napa Valley was definitely not the spot to travel if you’re expecting to run into bachelor parties and have wild nights where girls made out with guys on dance floors or in the street or danced the night away in a night club.  And how wrong we were… We met a gorgeous half Mexican half Cuban Marine turned Wine Connoisseur at one of the wineries.  Dreamiest combination alive?  I think so.

I got to the point right away by asking, and I quote, if he lived with his “girlfriend or wife or boyfriend or husband or… dog?”  You can use your imagination for my other vetting questions after drinking wine for 6 hours.  Before I gave him my phone number I gave him my blog URL.  Because that seemed like the right thing to do.

I was lucky that despite my grilling on his sexual orientation, political views and sports teams, he called me to hang out the next night.  And believe it or not – there are night clubs in Napa Valley.  Well – night club.  Called Napkins.  And it was the first time my college side saw the light in a long time.  And after a full day of wine tasting turned beers turned shots turned mixed drinks, we danced the night away.



 All Girls Dress the Same

There were 10 of us and over the course of the weekend almost everyone had a matching outfit incident.  Whether it was that we were all wearing dresses, all wearing pants, or all wearing the exact same thing, it proves that our fashion sense was in no way original.  The funny part being, none of it was planned.  A stranger asked if it was our bachelorette uniform at one point.



Survival Skills

As mentioned, we struggled significantly on the first night to open a bottle of wine with a terrible corkscrew.  While I am proud that my life-long streak of never letting a bottle go unopened continues, I learned a valuable skill if you’re ever stranded on a deserted island with nothing but a case of wine and a glass: Put the top of the bottle in a sneaker and bang the back of it.  Eventually the cork will come out.  I don’t remember why, but it sounded very scientific.  Hopefully you will also have sneakers on said deserted island.

How to kill a bird without any stones

Again, this was mentioned in my first post, but it was a story that lasted throughout the week.  When driving in Napa, beware of low-flying birds.  They’re probably drunk and going to hit you.

Souvenirs = Bad Ideasouv

When you live on the East Coast it’s hard to know for sure when you will be back to Napa, so you want to make the most memories that you can. That is not always an easy task when you drink wine all day every day.  So you make purchases to leave bread crumbs to your memories. My mistake was buying wine.  Once I had the bottle we had to drink it or I had to check my bag to take it home.  Since we never got around to drinking it (or just never had a moment where we stopped drinking other wine) I had to pay $25 to check my bag to bring home my $15 bottle of wine.  Wine that I’m almost positive is sold in the state of Pennsylvania.  Everyone else was handing off souvenirs to see which bags they could fit in.  Beach towels, beach bags, wine glasses, sun glasses, coasters, champagne flutes.  Napa made a killing on us.

It was an amazing trip.  The MOH planned the entire weekend perfectly and everyone had a great time.  I hope you can take these experiences and learnings and apply them to your next all-girls-binge-drinking-dreamy-Latin-man-dancing-selfie-stick-using adventure.


Napa Valley Extravaganza: Part 1

So far so good. The first day of this bachelorette wine adventure has gone with only a few glitches. After de-boarding the ultimate boring plane ride I had the opportunity to eat a fantastic bagel sandwich, nap and shower- so I was like a new woman once our journey to wine country began.

The ride wasn’t bad with the exception of a few casualties. The first of which was a black bird. He was flying along with his group of other black birds, innocent and unsuspecting, when he was whacked in the right side by a 2004 Honda Civic. It was a pretty traumatizing experience. My friend the bachelorette, who will be referred to from here on out as “Wonder Bread,” never saw it coming. Any other bird would have flown above the car, but this one flew into it. There were bird brains on the windshield. Talk about natural selection at work. 


sorry little buddy…


Her sister in the backseat witnessed the aftermath as the bird’s body ricocheted into the grassy vineyard besides us. We screamed a lot. But I guess Napa is a good place for things to end. Amongst the grapes…

Secondly, Wonder Bread forgot her wallet. Note to all readers- credit cards, cash and your license are vital pieces of your bachelorette weekend puzzle. Try your hardest to remember them when embarking on a weekend of binge drinking freedom. It wouldn’t hurt to have your insurance card too considering the amount of wine expected to be consumed. 


We had a lovely dinner and checked into our fantastic and spacious hotel. The concierge assured us there would be a bottle of wine in the room and was good enough to remedy the situation when we called immediately to say we had checked every nook and crevice but it was not here. Problem number three was the cork screw provided. It took four girls to figure out how to open one bottle of wine with this impossible cork screw. But don’t worry- we got there and everything was resolved in the end.


Tomorrow morning 6 more girls arrive and the fun continues… Stay tuned!